Oct. 17th, 2010 11:09 pm
HELP_PAKISTAN FIC
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lovely_ambitiona sequel to angels & ministers of grace
pike/fem!mccoy
4372
The ships leave for the five-year tour in a matter of two weeks.
There’s no surprise in the fact that the Enterprise’s manifest comes to him bearing the name of one Dr. Eleanor McCoy to serve as CMO and that she has been equipped with the most spacious of quarters with close proximity to the Captain’s room. The arrangements aren’t personally signed by Kirk, but they might as well be because it’s nothing but a personal taunt. Still, two weeks is a long time to go and McCoy’s been overly concerned as of late with him which means she doesn’t have time to worry about space or Jim or anything but Pike and the present.
“I haven’t become an invalid,” he scolds mildly, trying not to push her off too much considering that he takes abject pleasure in these sessions. Today, she’s taken to rubbing at his legs to try and work out tense knots.
She simply scolds him wordlessly, digging her thumbs down into his thighs. “And come two weeks when I’m up in that god-forsaken disease-ridden black wasteland of space and you have a medical issue...”
“I will immediately take myself to the hospital,” he calmly assures, “and inform them that Dr. McCoy is my primary physician and if I’m not taken care of, heads will be ripped off.”
“Damn straight they will be,” she grunts her agreement on the matter. She still hasn’t begun to box up her possessions and so his apartment looks as full as ever with both their presences clearly on display by the look of the books, furniture, and possessions. He doesn’t really want to spend too much time thinking about her leaving.
She sighs and continues to rub at his legs and he takes up the cause as well, letting his fingers idly stroke through her hair when they’re not busy touching the soft skin at her neck. “You know it’s not going to be the same down here on earth without you.”
She manages a hint of a smile and kisses his temple. “Jim’ll take care of me.”
He’s not sure how to tell her that that’s what he’s worried about.
*
It surprises him, of all things, that he misses the warmth in bed next to him the most.
There are other things he’d thought he’d miss more – like the way she instinctively pressed her feet to his in the middle of a cold night or the derisive snort she used to laugh with when they watched a film and she just couldn’t hold in her opinion. He thought he’d miss the way she prattled on about medical terms over breakfast or made collard greens to go with dinner. Hell, he even spared more than a few thoughts to think of the sex he’d miss the most.
He misses her company. He misses her blunt opinion on Starfleet and its actions while they watch the evening news. He misses being able to reach over in the middle of the night and coax her in closer to him so that she can sleepily murmur on about how he’s going to have to be careful about not making her too hot with his body heat.
He sends up brief communication videos whenever he can in the hopes that somehow it will keep her grounded and remind her that he’s waiting for her, down on Earth.
They’re in the middle of a conversation when her door slides open without even a chime to register a visitor and Pike glowers when he realizes who it is.
“Goddammit, Jim,” McCoy mutters, clearly not so pleased herself. “How many times have I told you that you aren’t allowed to hack my goddamn door! I’m in the middle of a private conversation.”
“Dinner’s over soon, Bones, I just wanted to drag you to the mess before...”
“I’ll skip it,” she interrupts him, turning back to Pike and offering an apologetic look. He can’t even find it in his heart to be upset because at the moment, all he sees is that she’s directly chosen him over her best friend. When Jim vanishes, she turns back to the screen and sighs heavily. “Sorry about that. Jim’s not used to not getting his way.”
With a wry smile, Pike is all too happy to agree that he’s always managed to get that impression. “It’s why he’s going to be a great Captain,” he says, knowing that there are other things that will contribute, but Jim’s inability to concede defeat will surely help.
“Well, as great as he’s going to be,” she grumbles, “he’s still annoying as all-hell.”
“No argument here.”
*
Pike finds, quickly, that with her in space, being on the ground is like torture. An Admiral pushing paperwork is all that he is and beyond that, he has the additional fear that one of these days Jim Kirk’s charms are going to win out and he’s going to come home to a message that simply says that he’s lost. And he can’t do anything about it because he’s here on the ground, waiting.
As Admiral, he has his choices. He can stay where he is and push paperwork or he can assign himself to a ship for a six-month journey. It’s not going to be near-long enough to keep his mind off of her and Jim Kirk, but it’s better than sitting ineffectually in his apartment with half of her possessions left behind and her infrequent calls to keep him company.
He can’t take the obsessing. He, instead, signs away his name to a mission and readies himself to head back into the deep recesses of space.
She finds out the day after he leaves, which is a lucky thing. He has the feeling that had she found out before, she might have beamed down (against her deep fear of the transporter) and reamed him out thoroughly.
If there’s one thing Eleanor McCoy hates more than her ex-husband and idiots, it’s space. She had no choice because ‘I have to follow that idiot Captain up there before he does something stupid with himself’, but she’s none too pleased about him.
“You’re an idiot,” she swears
“Leah...” he protests, trying to communicate as much apology as he can over the comm.
She doesn’t seem to be in the mood to hear any kind of argument and levels him with an icy glare, shaking her head dismissively. “Chris, I don’t even want to begin to hear any of it,” she announces, cold and certain. “I just want it known and on the record that I think what you’re doing is crazy and that when you come down with a case of raging sex pollen or whatever the fuck it is you have the bad luck to find, I won’t be there,” she insistently growls. “So know that.”
He really almost can’t help but smile.
“What?” she barks out, catching the amused smile on his face.
His chest feels constricted and light at once and it’s hard to explain how he feels, but he just shakes his head as if to try and placate her and knows he’s not going to have any luck with that. “Nothing,” he says with bemusement. “I love you too, Leah.”
“You won’t for long once space gets to you again,” she grumbles and signs off. It’s as close as he’s going to come in getting permission from her and while it isn’t perfect, he feels secure in knowing that at least she’s still speaking to him.
*
Almost as quickly as he’s decided to cast his fate back up to the stars, she decides that she’s not meant for space and casts in her resignation. Pike honestly wouldn’t have known about it if not for a heated call from Captain James T. Kirk, marked urgent. He’s not so sure how he feels about the fact that Jim’s known about this before him.
“What is it?” he asks tiredly, used to these being smug reminders that Leah is so far away from him and every day is an opportunity for Jim to wear her down.
Jim doesn’t look very pleased or smug and for once, Pike starts to think something might have gone wrong. “You had something to do with this, didn’t you?” he accuses hotly. “She handed in her resignation to the five-year mission today! She wants to go...to go to Georgia and the farm and raise her little girl and...and...” Jim shows no indication of slowing down or stopping and Pike simply lets him rail against the universe. “And I couldn’t say no! I’d be a cold jackass and I told her yes and she kissed me, but she’s still going,” he despairs.
Pike tries to balance the empty grief of hearing of the kiss and the sheer relief at her coming back to him. He’s due back to Earth in another few months and he’ll see her before casting off for another year mission. It’s not exactly preferable timing, but she’s coming home – or to a similar version of it.
“Jim, I didn’t even know,” he assures him truthfully and the truth has never felt so good to speak aloud. “She didn’t come to me in making this decision.”
“Pike,” Jim says, desperate and boyish suddenly. “I know there are other CMO’s out there and I know there are other friends, but this is Bones. She’s the very best in both cases, the best CMO and the best friend I’ve ever had.” Pike’s heard reports about Jim’s friendliness and warmth with the crew and Pike withholds a comment about how he’s sure that he’ll find a replacement soon enough.
Somewhere, he knows that this is hurting Jim and he doesn’t want to contribute to that. It’s a mature part of him that he doesn’t know how to quiet and so instead of rubbing the circumstances in Jim’s face, all he can muster is sympathy.
“Look, Jim,” Pike sighs. “I don’t know what this is about, but you know Leah. She hates space. She hates it.”
“I guess...well, I guess I just thought I’d be enough to keep her up here.”
Truth told, Pike’s thoughts had run along the same lines and he’s all-too-happy to realize that it isn’t the case.
“When’s she leaving?”
“Next month,” Jim replies miserably. “She leaves next month.”
*
It’s a full year after Leah came down to earth to raise Joanna in Georgia and Pike’s gone up to the stars. They managed to find a week to be together as their paths crossed and though the first day hadn’t gotten off to a rollicking start (she accused him of being a jealous ass after he accused her of kissing and canoodling with Jim Kirk), they made their apologies and worked forward to make the most of their time.
There have been voice calls in the time, but Pike’s stationed so far from Earth that he’s had to live on that. His only saving grace is that Jim isn’t in a much different situation. He sends voice calls as well and gifts for Joanna.
Pike doesn’t dare stoop down to the level of manipulating a child for his benefit, but he does start amalgamating gifts for Joanna for when he visits. He wants to be a permanent part of Leah’s life and he wants to be a good father figure to Joanna, even if she hasn’t actually accepted him as a father. He only wants her approval and to be able to provide her happiness.
Now, with shore leave finally at his door, he goes to the one person that he would drift to in his sleep. He walks and every step is a victory of great pride. He doesn’t fumble or fall and requires no cane to help him along. He parks the car at the end of the long dirt drive and walks up the cobbled path the rest of the way completely unaided, feeling small victory for this if nothing else.
He actually leaps up the steps as he finishes his small journey and raps on her door with gifts in hand and a smile on his face.
It’s actually a good thing that he hasn’t packed anything breakable because when she opens the door and he gets his first good look at her, he drops the presents and the smile vanishes into the ether.
“Eleanor,” he gasps out, full name very deserving in this situation. He lets his gaze linger on that worried smile on her lips that only serves to infuriate him in the best of situations and lets his gaze drop down to her slightly rounded, decidedly pregnant stomach. “I really hope you haven’t let Jim come over for shore leave seven?...eight?...months ago.”
“I haven’t seen Jim in a year,” she assures wryly, reaching out for his hand to coax it closer. “Don’t you worry, Chris. He’s all yours. I only found out two months back and I didn’t know how to tell you. Then you said you were coming and...well, I figured it’s easier to show than tell.”
“He?” And suddenly, Pike’s whole world narrows to this moment of joy and pride. It’s not like they haven’t discussed it. It’s just that every time they do talk about it, it seems farther off than right this moment. “I take it that this wasn’t your diabolical way of ensnaring me back to Earth...?”
“It was an accident,” Leah assures, though she seems serene. Georgia’s been good to her, Pike realizes, and suddenly he can’t even be that upset that she’s there. “A happy one, but it wasn’t planned. Didn’t know, exactly, how to tell you. I know this probably wasn’t how you wanted to find out, but...”
“We’re having a son,” Pike says the words aloud to try and make them seem real. “You and me, we’re making a home.”
No matter how much of a surprise this is (to the both of them, he’s sure), it’s a step in the right direction and towards the kind of life he wants to live with Leah McCoy.
*
Joanna is five years old and tolerates Pike well enough. She’s respectful and he teaches her card games and they go out for ice cream. They get along well enough considering Pike lives under her mother’s roof and sleeps in the same bed – though he hasn’t gotten around to proposing to her yet, even though that’s more a matter of him being unable to choose a ring than his hesitation.
The only problem with Joanna is that while she tolerates Pike, she adores Jim like no other. When a foreign car pulls into the driveway and Jim steps out of the driver’s side, she bolts for his side, shrieking and sprinting, more excited than Pike’s ever seen her.
Pike tenses his jaw and watches the little girl at the end of the drive as she jumps right into Jim’s arms. He knows that he ought to be calmer about this because there’s an infant inside that has his eyes and Leah’s with him, but he can’t help but feel like Joanna’s choosing of Jim bears some kind of treachery that he’s thinking far, far too much about.
He feels a warm hand at his back and turns to see Leah right there with him.
Pike takes a deep breath and watches Jim swing Joanna around in the air, making her squeal eagerly. “I feel like an idiot,” he admits. “I keep waiting for him to walk up that driveway and for you to take one look at how Joanna is with him and throw me overboard.”
He turns in order to gauge her reaction to that and probably could have anticipated her sheer look of disgust.
“I feel like you’re about to smack me,” Pike says and should have realized that before he started a pity party for himself when he has a girlfriend on his hands whose moods are all over the spectrum (and have been since the birth).
“Only because you’re being an idiot,” Leah responds, but doesn’t lay a hand on his head. Instead, she leans in and presses a lingering kiss to his cheek, something that tells him that maybe he’s worrying over nothing.
When Jo and Jim make the final steps of their journey and join them on the front porch, Pike feels like a renewed man. He watches Leah take Joanna back into her arms and they discuss the menu for lunch, leaving Jim and Pike alone.
“Is this the start of another campaign?” Pike wonders.
Pike doesn’t really know what to make of the confused look on Jim’s face. “Bones sent for me. She said that she had something to talk about. And she’s my best friend, there’s no way I wouldn’t have come for her.”
Jim heads inside, leaving Pike to wonder just what’s so important that Leah had to bring Jim here personally to talk about.
*
He hears the shouting at two in the morning and it rouses him from bed. He reaches over to bring Leah closer to him again, but finds that she’s gone. Pike has a bad feeling that she’s half of the shouted conversation taking place in the seemingly-never-ending backyard and that the other voice is Jim’s.
“Bones, come on, hold on, just listen to what you’re saying!”
“Jim, you might be my best friend, but kiss me again and I’ll stab you in the neck with the strongest sedative I have,” Leah’s growling. “I’ve made up my mind, whatever childish action you feel like taking isn’t going to make me reconsider!”
Pike tenses immediately and wants nothing more than to charge down the stairs and start making demands – the kind that went along the lines of ‘how dare you?’ and ‘We’ve been over this’ and ‘You’re not going to win’. Still, he knows that will come off petty and he’s aware that Leah has no trouble handling Jim, so to speak.
He does slowly nudge the bedroom window open to better hear the argument transpiring at that very moment.
“Look, Jim, you’re always going to be my best friend, nothing’s ever gonna change that,” she’s saying with an undercurrent of a biting tone, like she’s just holding back on some real anger and if Jim pokes hard enough and in the right place, she’s going to unleash with it, “but I chose Chris. He makes me feel like a woman that someone wants again and hell, Jim, it’s a relief to come home to a man who’s already been through his trials and tribulations. You’re incredible, Jim, the entire ship will tell you that to your face and then twice as much behind your back, but you’re still learning what kind of man you’re going to be,” she says. Pike has to squint in the darkness, but he can see her touch her palm to his cheek and watches the way Jim deflates at the seemingly simple touch. “I’m ready to settle, Jim. I already tried and failed once, this time’s for keeps.”
Pike slides the bedroom window shut the minute he hears her say those words. He’s always trusted her, even if he could never be sure how dirty Jim would play it, and with those words, he knows that he bet on the right team.
*
Jim leaves on a Thursday morning with very little fanfare. He packs his bags, does one last magic trick for Joanna, kisses Leah on the cheek, and shakes Pike’s hand. They talk shop for a few minutes and Pike asks about things he already knows – where the Enterprise is headed next, the result of a court martial regarding one of the ship’s ensigns, Spock’s performance in light of Uhura giving birth to their son – and Jim leaves with an easy goodbye.
It’s almost too easy – or so it feels like.
When he goes, though, the entire house takes on a new atmosphere and Pike almost wants to call it hope. In the last few months, Pike has slowly started to ship all of his possessions out to the house and he’s started to make something of a home for himself.
It feels right.
It’s the same feeling of having found his way home that leads him to a jewellery shop in town and picking out something demure and understated. Leah’s never gone for over-the-top gestures and when he wants her to be wearing this ring for the rest of her life, he isn’t going to go gaudy. It takes time, but he finally has a ring and a plan and the words to go with it and he knows that he’s won out over Jim, so he doesn’t even have to fear her going back into space at his heels to chase down some mysterious dream.
Feeling right doesn’t automatically take away all his nerves, though, and he’s starting to grow anxious as the hours pass and the ring seemingly burns a hole in his trousers.
They cook dinner together and watch television until the sun goes down and Pike still can’t bring himself to dig it out and ask. Inevitably, the night is going to wind itself away from him, so he had better do something. That still doesn’t encourage him a great deal and it’s not looking promising.
Fate does it for him.
When they’re changing, he suffers a mild (and infrequent) spasm of his leg that makes him take his hand away from the ring and press it to his thigh to control the shakes. In the meantime, the ring tumbles out of his pocket and clatters to the floor dully.
He sits on the edge of the bed to try and put himself back together and watches the scene in almost slow-motion as she picks up the box and stares at it for a long moment. “Chris,” she says quietly. “What is this?”
Pike reaches out with both hands in order to try and cup the box gently in his hands. “This is for you,” he says, seeing no point to beat around the bush. “This was always going to be for you.” He takes out the small, understated (yet perfect, to his eyes) ring and holds it up so that it catches the light.
He feels safe under this roof with his son just down the hall. He feels like no matter what happens, he’ll be able to take care of them and they’ll do the same in turn and it just feels good.
He doesn’t know when his life became more about family than about the adventure in space, but he can’t begrudge any of it, especially when Leah meets his eyes and mouths a firm ‘yes’ that has him glad he chose this road.
*
It’s four weeks after the wedding, young George is a year old, and a package has arrived at the front of the house. Pike isn’t sure what to make of it, especially since the delivery-boy said that it’s come directly from Captain James Tiberius Kirk – from their most recent stop to Risa. Pike gives the box a light nudge with his foot and isn’t sure what to make of it.
From what he’s heard, he’s taken McCoy’s choice well, throwing himself into his captaincy. The Enterprise travels the universe far and wide and everyone benefits from its stops, its peacemaking, and even its ability to solve disputes.
He finds several baby toys in the package and a disc that is labelled ‘PIKE’ in hastily-scribbled marker. He takes that and brings the rest of the things inside for Leah to mine through just in case Jim’s sent something inappropriate for the kids to find.
He excuses himself to his private study and loads up the disc, watching as Jim sits himself down in front of the recording device and gets comfortable.
“Admiral,” he starts. “I’m glad you got the things. Tell Bones there’s a special present in the bottom of the box just for her and she shouldn’t let Jo touch it, even if it does glitter a little.” Well, at least Pike’s still got Jim’s number when it comes to expectations. “I thought that you and I could talk, though. Or, I could talk in your general direction because things have been strained between us, what with pettiness and jealousies getting in the way. Bones and I have talked and we’ve figured it out. We’ve figured out what we are to each other and she, in no uncertain terms, made it very clear that you were her pick. Me? I’m going to start respecting that,” he says and while Pike could write him off as a liar, there’s something about the way he looks that makes him believable and more sincere than Pike’s ever seen him. “I owe you a lot, sir, as well. I guess I got blinded in a childish game of jealousies, but I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you and I think I’d do well to start remembering that fact.”
That night in the bar remains distant in Pike’s memory and all he remembers from that affair had been the sheer relief of getting Kirk to see there were other options.
“I love Bones, sir,” Jim is continuing, on the tape. “That’s just never going to change. But I’ve acknowledged that there are different ways of loving people. So, I’m going to love her as her best friend and I’ll still do anything for her, but I’m not intruding. Not anymore.”
He grins bright and sunny and while months ago he would have worried about those smiles – worried that Leah would be taken in by one and blinded by the charm – now he just finds relief that Jim’s found happiness, even if it’s taken him a strange path to get there. “Happy wedding, sir,” he says with a salute. “And I’ll see you in a couple of weeks for the christening of George. Bones says I’m godfather.”
With that, he signs off and leaves Pike to revel in his utter lack of surprise.
Even if Jim’s no longer competition, Pike should’ve known that there’s no way that he’d ever truly be out of their lives. And secretly, the truth is that Pike is very glad for that.
pike/fem!mccoy
4372
The ships leave for the five-year tour in a matter of two weeks.
There’s no surprise in the fact that the Enterprise’s manifest comes to him bearing the name of one Dr. Eleanor McCoy to serve as CMO and that she has been equipped with the most spacious of quarters with close proximity to the Captain’s room. The arrangements aren’t personally signed by Kirk, but they might as well be because it’s nothing but a personal taunt. Still, two weeks is a long time to go and McCoy’s been overly concerned as of late with him which means she doesn’t have time to worry about space or Jim or anything but Pike and the present.
“I haven’t become an invalid,” he scolds mildly, trying not to push her off too much considering that he takes abject pleasure in these sessions. Today, she’s taken to rubbing at his legs to try and work out tense knots.
She simply scolds him wordlessly, digging her thumbs down into his thighs. “And come two weeks when I’m up in that god-forsaken disease-ridden black wasteland of space and you have a medical issue...”
“I will immediately take myself to the hospital,” he calmly assures, “and inform them that Dr. McCoy is my primary physician and if I’m not taken care of, heads will be ripped off.”
“Damn straight they will be,” she grunts her agreement on the matter. She still hasn’t begun to box up her possessions and so his apartment looks as full as ever with both their presences clearly on display by the look of the books, furniture, and possessions. He doesn’t really want to spend too much time thinking about her leaving.
She sighs and continues to rub at his legs and he takes up the cause as well, letting his fingers idly stroke through her hair when they’re not busy touching the soft skin at her neck. “You know it’s not going to be the same down here on earth without you.”
She manages a hint of a smile and kisses his temple. “Jim’ll take care of me.”
He’s not sure how to tell her that that’s what he’s worried about.
*
It surprises him, of all things, that he misses the warmth in bed next to him the most.
There are other things he’d thought he’d miss more – like the way she instinctively pressed her feet to his in the middle of a cold night or the derisive snort she used to laugh with when they watched a film and she just couldn’t hold in her opinion. He thought he’d miss the way she prattled on about medical terms over breakfast or made collard greens to go with dinner. Hell, he even spared more than a few thoughts to think of the sex he’d miss the most.
He misses her company. He misses her blunt opinion on Starfleet and its actions while they watch the evening news. He misses being able to reach over in the middle of the night and coax her in closer to him so that she can sleepily murmur on about how he’s going to have to be careful about not making her too hot with his body heat.
He sends up brief communication videos whenever he can in the hopes that somehow it will keep her grounded and remind her that he’s waiting for her, down on Earth.
They’re in the middle of a conversation when her door slides open without even a chime to register a visitor and Pike glowers when he realizes who it is.
“Goddammit, Jim,” McCoy mutters, clearly not so pleased herself. “How many times have I told you that you aren’t allowed to hack my goddamn door! I’m in the middle of a private conversation.”
“Dinner’s over soon, Bones, I just wanted to drag you to the mess before...”
“I’ll skip it,” she interrupts him, turning back to Pike and offering an apologetic look. He can’t even find it in his heart to be upset because at the moment, all he sees is that she’s directly chosen him over her best friend. When Jim vanishes, she turns back to the screen and sighs heavily. “Sorry about that. Jim’s not used to not getting his way.”
With a wry smile, Pike is all too happy to agree that he’s always managed to get that impression. “It’s why he’s going to be a great Captain,” he says, knowing that there are other things that will contribute, but Jim’s inability to concede defeat will surely help.
“Well, as great as he’s going to be,” she grumbles, “he’s still annoying as all-hell.”
“No argument here.”
*
Pike finds, quickly, that with her in space, being on the ground is like torture. An Admiral pushing paperwork is all that he is and beyond that, he has the additional fear that one of these days Jim Kirk’s charms are going to win out and he’s going to come home to a message that simply says that he’s lost. And he can’t do anything about it because he’s here on the ground, waiting.
As Admiral, he has his choices. He can stay where he is and push paperwork or he can assign himself to a ship for a six-month journey. It’s not going to be near-long enough to keep his mind off of her and Jim Kirk, but it’s better than sitting ineffectually in his apartment with half of her possessions left behind and her infrequent calls to keep him company.
He can’t take the obsessing. He, instead, signs away his name to a mission and readies himself to head back into the deep recesses of space.
She finds out the day after he leaves, which is a lucky thing. He has the feeling that had she found out before, she might have beamed down (against her deep fear of the transporter) and reamed him out thoroughly.
If there’s one thing Eleanor McCoy hates more than her ex-husband and idiots, it’s space. She had no choice because ‘I have to follow that idiot Captain up there before he does something stupid with himself’, but she’s none too pleased about him.
“You’re an idiot,” she swears
“Leah...” he protests, trying to communicate as much apology as he can over the comm.
She doesn’t seem to be in the mood to hear any kind of argument and levels him with an icy glare, shaking her head dismissively. “Chris, I don’t even want to begin to hear any of it,” she announces, cold and certain. “I just want it known and on the record that I think what you’re doing is crazy and that when you come down with a case of raging sex pollen or whatever the fuck it is you have the bad luck to find, I won’t be there,” she insistently growls. “So know that.”
He really almost can’t help but smile.
“What?” she barks out, catching the amused smile on his face.
His chest feels constricted and light at once and it’s hard to explain how he feels, but he just shakes his head as if to try and placate her and knows he’s not going to have any luck with that. “Nothing,” he says with bemusement. “I love you too, Leah.”
“You won’t for long once space gets to you again,” she grumbles and signs off. It’s as close as he’s going to come in getting permission from her and while it isn’t perfect, he feels secure in knowing that at least she’s still speaking to him.
*
Almost as quickly as he’s decided to cast his fate back up to the stars, she decides that she’s not meant for space and casts in her resignation. Pike honestly wouldn’t have known about it if not for a heated call from Captain James T. Kirk, marked urgent. He’s not so sure how he feels about the fact that Jim’s known about this before him.
“What is it?” he asks tiredly, used to these being smug reminders that Leah is so far away from him and every day is an opportunity for Jim to wear her down.
Jim doesn’t look very pleased or smug and for once, Pike starts to think something might have gone wrong. “You had something to do with this, didn’t you?” he accuses hotly. “She handed in her resignation to the five-year mission today! She wants to go...to go to Georgia and the farm and raise her little girl and...and...” Jim shows no indication of slowing down or stopping and Pike simply lets him rail against the universe. “And I couldn’t say no! I’d be a cold jackass and I told her yes and she kissed me, but she’s still going,” he despairs.
Pike tries to balance the empty grief of hearing of the kiss and the sheer relief at her coming back to him. He’s due back to Earth in another few months and he’ll see her before casting off for another year mission. It’s not exactly preferable timing, but she’s coming home – or to a similar version of it.
“Jim, I didn’t even know,” he assures him truthfully and the truth has never felt so good to speak aloud. “She didn’t come to me in making this decision.”
“Pike,” Jim says, desperate and boyish suddenly. “I know there are other CMO’s out there and I know there are other friends, but this is Bones. She’s the very best in both cases, the best CMO and the best friend I’ve ever had.” Pike’s heard reports about Jim’s friendliness and warmth with the crew and Pike withholds a comment about how he’s sure that he’ll find a replacement soon enough.
Somewhere, he knows that this is hurting Jim and he doesn’t want to contribute to that. It’s a mature part of him that he doesn’t know how to quiet and so instead of rubbing the circumstances in Jim’s face, all he can muster is sympathy.
“Look, Jim,” Pike sighs. “I don’t know what this is about, but you know Leah. She hates space. She hates it.”
“I guess...well, I guess I just thought I’d be enough to keep her up here.”
Truth told, Pike’s thoughts had run along the same lines and he’s all-too-happy to realize that it isn’t the case.
“When’s she leaving?”
“Next month,” Jim replies miserably. “She leaves next month.”
*
It’s a full year after Leah came down to earth to raise Joanna in Georgia and Pike’s gone up to the stars. They managed to find a week to be together as their paths crossed and though the first day hadn’t gotten off to a rollicking start (she accused him of being a jealous ass after he accused her of kissing and canoodling with Jim Kirk), they made their apologies and worked forward to make the most of their time.
There have been voice calls in the time, but Pike’s stationed so far from Earth that he’s had to live on that. His only saving grace is that Jim isn’t in a much different situation. He sends voice calls as well and gifts for Joanna.
Pike doesn’t dare stoop down to the level of manipulating a child for his benefit, but he does start amalgamating gifts for Joanna for when he visits. He wants to be a permanent part of Leah’s life and he wants to be a good father figure to Joanna, even if she hasn’t actually accepted him as a father. He only wants her approval and to be able to provide her happiness.
Now, with shore leave finally at his door, he goes to the one person that he would drift to in his sleep. He walks and every step is a victory of great pride. He doesn’t fumble or fall and requires no cane to help him along. He parks the car at the end of the long dirt drive and walks up the cobbled path the rest of the way completely unaided, feeling small victory for this if nothing else.
He actually leaps up the steps as he finishes his small journey and raps on her door with gifts in hand and a smile on his face.
It’s actually a good thing that he hasn’t packed anything breakable because when she opens the door and he gets his first good look at her, he drops the presents and the smile vanishes into the ether.
“Eleanor,” he gasps out, full name very deserving in this situation. He lets his gaze linger on that worried smile on her lips that only serves to infuriate him in the best of situations and lets his gaze drop down to her slightly rounded, decidedly pregnant stomach. “I really hope you haven’t let Jim come over for shore leave seven?...eight?...months ago.”
“I haven’t seen Jim in a year,” she assures wryly, reaching out for his hand to coax it closer. “Don’t you worry, Chris. He’s all yours. I only found out two months back and I didn’t know how to tell you. Then you said you were coming and...well, I figured it’s easier to show than tell.”
“He?” And suddenly, Pike’s whole world narrows to this moment of joy and pride. It’s not like they haven’t discussed it. It’s just that every time they do talk about it, it seems farther off than right this moment. “I take it that this wasn’t your diabolical way of ensnaring me back to Earth...?”
“It was an accident,” Leah assures, though she seems serene. Georgia’s been good to her, Pike realizes, and suddenly he can’t even be that upset that she’s there. “A happy one, but it wasn’t planned. Didn’t know, exactly, how to tell you. I know this probably wasn’t how you wanted to find out, but...”
“We’re having a son,” Pike says the words aloud to try and make them seem real. “You and me, we’re making a home.”
No matter how much of a surprise this is (to the both of them, he’s sure), it’s a step in the right direction and towards the kind of life he wants to live with Leah McCoy.
*
Joanna is five years old and tolerates Pike well enough. She’s respectful and he teaches her card games and they go out for ice cream. They get along well enough considering Pike lives under her mother’s roof and sleeps in the same bed – though he hasn’t gotten around to proposing to her yet, even though that’s more a matter of him being unable to choose a ring than his hesitation.
The only problem with Joanna is that while she tolerates Pike, she adores Jim like no other. When a foreign car pulls into the driveway and Jim steps out of the driver’s side, she bolts for his side, shrieking and sprinting, more excited than Pike’s ever seen her.
Pike tenses his jaw and watches the little girl at the end of the drive as she jumps right into Jim’s arms. He knows that he ought to be calmer about this because there’s an infant inside that has his eyes and Leah’s with him, but he can’t help but feel like Joanna’s choosing of Jim bears some kind of treachery that he’s thinking far, far too much about.
He feels a warm hand at his back and turns to see Leah right there with him.
Pike takes a deep breath and watches Jim swing Joanna around in the air, making her squeal eagerly. “I feel like an idiot,” he admits. “I keep waiting for him to walk up that driveway and for you to take one look at how Joanna is with him and throw me overboard.”
He turns in order to gauge her reaction to that and probably could have anticipated her sheer look of disgust.
“I feel like you’re about to smack me,” Pike says and should have realized that before he started a pity party for himself when he has a girlfriend on his hands whose moods are all over the spectrum (and have been since the birth).
“Only because you’re being an idiot,” Leah responds, but doesn’t lay a hand on his head. Instead, she leans in and presses a lingering kiss to his cheek, something that tells him that maybe he’s worrying over nothing.
When Jo and Jim make the final steps of their journey and join them on the front porch, Pike feels like a renewed man. He watches Leah take Joanna back into her arms and they discuss the menu for lunch, leaving Jim and Pike alone.
“Is this the start of another campaign?” Pike wonders.
Pike doesn’t really know what to make of the confused look on Jim’s face. “Bones sent for me. She said that she had something to talk about. And she’s my best friend, there’s no way I wouldn’t have come for her.”
Jim heads inside, leaving Pike to wonder just what’s so important that Leah had to bring Jim here personally to talk about.
*
He hears the shouting at two in the morning and it rouses him from bed. He reaches over to bring Leah closer to him again, but finds that she’s gone. Pike has a bad feeling that she’s half of the shouted conversation taking place in the seemingly-never-ending backyard and that the other voice is Jim’s.
“Bones, come on, hold on, just listen to what you’re saying!”
“Jim, you might be my best friend, but kiss me again and I’ll stab you in the neck with the strongest sedative I have,” Leah’s growling. “I’ve made up my mind, whatever childish action you feel like taking isn’t going to make me reconsider!”
Pike tenses immediately and wants nothing more than to charge down the stairs and start making demands – the kind that went along the lines of ‘how dare you?’ and ‘We’ve been over this’ and ‘You’re not going to win’. Still, he knows that will come off petty and he’s aware that Leah has no trouble handling Jim, so to speak.
He does slowly nudge the bedroom window open to better hear the argument transpiring at that very moment.
“Look, Jim, you’re always going to be my best friend, nothing’s ever gonna change that,” she’s saying with an undercurrent of a biting tone, like she’s just holding back on some real anger and if Jim pokes hard enough and in the right place, she’s going to unleash with it, “but I chose Chris. He makes me feel like a woman that someone wants again and hell, Jim, it’s a relief to come home to a man who’s already been through his trials and tribulations. You’re incredible, Jim, the entire ship will tell you that to your face and then twice as much behind your back, but you’re still learning what kind of man you’re going to be,” she says. Pike has to squint in the darkness, but he can see her touch her palm to his cheek and watches the way Jim deflates at the seemingly simple touch. “I’m ready to settle, Jim. I already tried and failed once, this time’s for keeps.”
Pike slides the bedroom window shut the minute he hears her say those words. He’s always trusted her, even if he could never be sure how dirty Jim would play it, and with those words, he knows that he bet on the right team.
*
Jim leaves on a Thursday morning with very little fanfare. He packs his bags, does one last magic trick for Joanna, kisses Leah on the cheek, and shakes Pike’s hand. They talk shop for a few minutes and Pike asks about things he already knows – where the Enterprise is headed next, the result of a court martial regarding one of the ship’s ensigns, Spock’s performance in light of Uhura giving birth to their son – and Jim leaves with an easy goodbye.
It’s almost too easy – or so it feels like.
When he goes, though, the entire house takes on a new atmosphere and Pike almost wants to call it hope. In the last few months, Pike has slowly started to ship all of his possessions out to the house and he’s started to make something of a home for himself.
It feels right.
It’s the same feeling of having found his way home that leads him to a jewellery shop in town and picking out something demure and understated. Leah’s never gone for over-the-top gestures and when he wants her to be wearing this ring for the rest of her life, he isn’t going to go gaudy. It takes time, but he finally has a ring and a plan and the words to go with it and he knows that he’s won out over Jim, so he doesn’t even have to fear her going back into space at his heels to chase down some mysterious dream.
Feeling right doesn’t automatically take away all his nerves, though, and he’s starting to grow anxious as the hours pass and the ring seemingly burns a hole in his trousers.
They cook dinner together and watch television until the sun goes down and Pike still can’t bring himself to dig it out and ask. Inevitably, the night is going to wind itself away from him, so he had better do something. That still doesn’t encourage him a great deal and it’s not looking promising.
Fate does it for him.
When they’re changing, he suffers a mild (and infrequent) spasm of his leg that makes him take his hand away from the ring and press it to his thigh to control the shakes. In the meantime, the ring tumbles out of his pocket and clatters to the floor dully.
He sits on the edge of the bed to try and put himself back together and watches the scene in almost slow-motion as she picks up the box and stares at it for a long moment. “Chris,” she says quietly. “What is this?”
Pike reaches out with both hands in order to try and cup the box gently in his hands. “This is for you,” he says, seeing no point to beat around the bush. “This was always going to be for you.” He takes out the small, understated (yet perfect, to his eyes) ring and holds it up so that it catches the light.
He feels safe under this roof with his son just down the hall. He feels like no matter what happens, he’ll be able to take care of them and they’ll do the same in turn and it just feels good.
He doesn’t know when his life became more about family than about the adventure in space, but he can’t begrudge any of it, especially when Leah meets his eyes and mouths a firm ‘yes’ that has him glad he chose this road.
*
It’s four weeks after the wedding, young George is a year old, and a package has arrived at the front of the house. Pike isn’t sure what to make of it, especially since the delivery-boy said that it’s come directly from Captain James Tiberius Kirk – from their most recent stop to Risa. Pike gives the box a light nudge with his foot and isn’t sure what to make of it.
From what he’s heard, he’s taken McCoy’s choice well, throwing himself into his captaincy. The Enterprise travels the universe far and wide and everyone benefits from its stops, its peacemaking, and even its ability to solve disputes.
He finds several baby toys in the package and a disc that is labelled ‘PIKE’ in hastily-scribbled marker. He takes that and brings the rest of the things inside for Leah to mine through just in case Jim’s sent something inappropriate for the kids to find.
He excuses himself to his private study and loads up the disc, watching as Jim sits himself down in front of the recording device and gets comfortable.
“Admiral,” he starts. “I’m glad you got the things. Tell Bones there’s a special present in the bottom of the box just for her and she shouldn’t let Jo touch it, even if it does glitter a little.” Well, at least Pike’s still got Jim’s number when it comes to expectations. “I thought that you and I could talk, though. Or, I could talk in your general direction because things have been strained between us, what with pettiness and jealousies getting in the way. Bones and I have talked and we’ve figured it out. We’ve figured out what we are to each other and she, in no uncertain terms, made it very clear that you were her pick. Me? I’m going to start respecting that,” he says and while Pike could write him off as a liar, there’s something about the way he looks that makes him believable and more sincere than Pike’s ever seen him. “I owe you a lot, sir, as well. I guess I got blinded in a childish game of jealousies, but I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you and I think I’d do well to start remembering that fact.”
That night in the bar remains distant in Pike’s memory and all he remembers from that affair had been the sheer relief of getting Kirk to see there were other options.
“I love Bones, sir,” Jim is continuing, on the tape. “That’s just never going to change. But I’ve acknowledged that there are different ways of loving people. So, I’m going to love her as her best friend and I’ll still do anything for her, but I’m not intruding. Not anymore.”
He grins bright and sunny and while months ago he would have worried about those smiles – worried that Leah would be taken in by one and blinded by the charm – now he just finds relief that Jim’s found happiness, even if it’s taken him a strange path to get there. “Happy wedding, sir,” he says with a salute. “And I’ll see you in a couple of weeks for the christening of George. Bones says I’m godfather.”
With that, he signs off and leaves Pike to revel in his utter lack of surprise.
Even if Jim’s no longer competition, Pike should’ve known that there’s no way that he’d ever truly be out of their lives. And secretly, the truth is that Pike is very glad for that.
Tags:
I love this!
1) Jealous!Pike
2) Leah raising Joanna and Joanna's reluctance with Pike (not that everyone shouldn't love Pike, but it's probably not realistic)
3) McCoy dressing down Kirk. "I made my choice. Get over it!" Also, her speech about Jim vs. Chris? That right there is why I'm a Pike/McCoy shipper.
4) The way that you let the reader (and Pike) know about McCoy's pregnancy. I did give a side eye to his name (George?) and Kirk as godfather? I fear for Leah & Chris :-)
Thank you SO MUCH for this. This is a great fill of my request!
Re: I love this!
Re: I love this!