Nov. 12th, 2005 10:25 pm
Title: Patient Name: P. Eep
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lovely_ambitionTitle: Patient Name: P. Eep
Fandom: House M.D.
Pairing: House, Chase
Prompt: Purple
Word Count: 488
Rating: PG-13
Author's Notes: The day after Easter means candy sales!
“You’re,” House pointed directly at Chase, “coming with me.”
Chase’s reply was dry, bored. “Need a thousand dollars for monster trucks again?” he asked, barely looking up from his crossword puzzle, pencil between his teeth.
“Not that much, but there will be certain expenditures,” House said with a wink. “Don’t worry, you’re my date this time.” And with a push out the door, they were on their way, Chase protesting every step of the way.
“And…why am I going somewhere mysterious?” Chase asked warily as they approached the nearest superstore with the biggest repository of items. House just grinned, checking his wallet as he parked, fingers flicking through crisp bills.
“I’m just going wabbit-hunting,” House replied evenly. “And, you know, surprising you. Oh, need fifty bucks. I’ll pay you back…you know, eventually.” Chase shot him a very dubious look – House could build a whole house of cards based on those looks – and dug out his wallet, holding over the single bill. House took it and regarded it like a golden ticket. “C’mon, Charlie, time to see the factory.”
*
The ‘factory’ was a wholesale store, aisles of savings and shelves full of discount Easter candy. “Welcome to paradise,” House remarked with awe. “It’s all mine.” He shoved a basket into Chase’s hands, nodding towards Aisle 1. “Peeps and chocolate. Candy and jelly babies next.”
Chase hesitated, not having lost the dubious look at all, but House gave him a forward prod with his cane, effectively sending him stumbling into the aisle. “If you see a red sticker, grab it.”
*
By quitting time, Chase was near hyperactive with all the sugar in him and House was prodding him towards the lab, one solitary box in his hands. “We’re going to get in trouble,” Chase protested, but he was still laughing and still moving forward.
“Nah, you’re just the money of this operation. I’m the brains. And the looks. Women love the cane.” He wiggled his fingers and pried open the box while he opened the centrifuge.
“You’re…kidding…when…you can’t!”
“Watch me. The peep,” House announced, holding up a purple peep, “is gravely sick. We have his sample. Dr. Chase, shall we spin it?”
Chase grinned – the smirky, cocky one – and took the peep, placing it inside the centrifuge. “We should at least rule out Advanced Peep Disintegration Syndrome.”
“APDS! Excellent diagnosis,” House remarked, pleased as punch. He closed the centrifuge with a ‘click’ and didn’t hesitate once as he started the machine, the rotations already whirling by. It stopped and Chase let House open it up. “I’m sad to say,” he announced in a remorseful tone, “that the patient died of APDS. We did all we could.”
Chase snickered as they left, fifty dollars well spent.
*
Two days later, the curses were still coming from the lab, feminine “fuck!” every once in a while that surprised them both. “They’re dead,” Cameron muttered, fingers stick with purple peeps.
end
Fandom: House M.D.
Pairing: House, Chase
Prompt: Purple
Word Count: 488
Rating: PG-13
Author's Notes: The day after Easter means candy sales!
“You’re,” House pointed directly at Chase, “coming with me.”
Chase’s reply was dry, bored. “Need a thousand dollars for monster trucks again?” he asked, barely looking up from his crossword puzzle, pencil between his teeth.
“Not that much, but there will be certain expenditures,” House said with a wink. “Don’t worry, you’re my date this time.” And with a push out the door, they were on their way, Chase protesting every step of the way.
“And…why am I going somewhere mysterious?” Chase asked warily as they approached the nearest superstore with the biggest repository of items. House just grinned, checking his wallet as he parked, fingers flicking through crisp bills.
“I’m just going wabbit-hunting,” House replied evenly. “And, you know, surprising you. Oh, need fifty bucks. I’ll pay you back…you know, eventually.” Chase shot him a very dubious look – House could build a whole house of cards based on those looks – and dug out his wallet, holding over the single bill. House took it and regarded it like a golden ticket. “C’mon, Charlie, time to see the factory.”
*
The ‘factory’ was a wholesale store, aisles of savings and shelves full of discount Easter candy. “Welcome to paradise,” House remarked with awe. “It’s all mine.” He shoved a basket into Chase’s hands, nodding towards Aisle 1. “Peeps and chocolate. Candy and jelly babies next.”
Chase hesitated, not having lost the dubious look at all, but House gave him a forward prod with his cane, effectively sending him stumbling into the aisle. “If you see a red sticker, grab it.”
*
By quitting time, Chase was near hyperactive with all the sugar in him and House was prodding him towards the lab, one solitary box in his hands. “We’re going to get in trouble,” Chase protested, but he was still laughing and still moving forward.
“Nah, you’re just the money of this operation. I’m the brains. And the looks. Women love the cane.” He wiggled his fingers and pried open the box while he opened the centrifuge.
“You’re…kidding…when…you can’t!”
“Watch me. The peep,” House announced, holding up a purple peep, “is gravely sick. We have his sample. Dr. Chase, shall we spin it?”
Chase grinned – the smirky, cocky one – and took the peep, placing it inside the centrifuge. “We should at least rule out Advanced Peep Disintegration Syndrome.”
“APDS! Excellent diagnosis,” House remarked, pleased as punch. He closed the centrifuge with a ‘click’ and didn’t hesitate once as he started the machine, the rotations already whirling by. It stopped and Chase let House open it up. “I’m sad to say,” he announced in a remorseful tone, “that the patient died of APDS. We did all we could.”
Chase snickered as they left, fifty dollars well spent.
*
Two days later, the curses were still coming from the lab, feminine “fuck!” every once in a while that surprised them both. “They’re dead,” Cameron muttered, fingers stick with purple peeps.
end
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Hee, ie: thanks for reading!