LotR comedy

So, in times where I actually log work, I'm reminded of stuff that's been sitting in my Documents folder for months. Stuff like the comedy. Reminder to self; it's funny. Write it.

Setting

Present day. Gandalf did a magic trick when someone pissed him off and now the entire Middle Earth has been transported to our day and age.

Character List

Sam: A ladies' man on the outside, ubergay at heart. He only comes on to Frodo when no one else is around which causes everyone to question Frodo’s sanity (again). He is the school's ‘horticulturalist’.

Frodo: The nerd, studying history to become a history scholar, could get anyone with seductive eyes, but too naïve to notice.

Legolas: The tag-along to Haldir’s elf frat, tries to sleep his way to the top, but fails. He is, in essence, Haldir’s bitch

Gimli: A football jock with serious psychological issues

Merry & Pippin: The party boys, and also the school sluts. They wind up sleeping together every time they get drunk together but constantly deny their love.

Aragorn: A paranoid shut-in loner who rarely goes to class and is haunted by Boromir’s spirit. Constantly says to him, “None of this would have happened if you had just…lived!” even when other people who can't see Boromir are in the room.

Gandalf: The dean, somehow winds up drunk in his students dorms with no explanation as to how he got there.

Elrond: A professor who sleeps with his students, everytime a door is open to a random student's room...Elrond is inside.

And a loverly snippet:

“Don’t you remember what happened last time anyone pissed Gandalf off?” Legolas hissed to Gimli, and then backed away after he caught a whiff of the dwarf.

“I do remember indeed. He up and transported all of Middle Earth into this ungodly time and place.” Gimli absentmindedly tossed a football up and down. “Although, this hobby isn’t so bad. What’s it called again, Ori?”

“Hut!” A dwarf piped in.

“Hut!” Another added.

“Hike!” A third finished, and the entire team grunted, causing Legolas to shudder and close his eyes at the assembled line and the assembled smell.