First, I love your story. It was both realistic and heart-breaking. The slow maturation of the characters (Sulu a pilot, Chekov in Russia XD Nyota+Spock in college, Gaila...) is particularly well-done. I really like the description of the feelings - so sweet! - , and the Jim-craving-for-adventures pose.
But, to some extend, I can't help regretting you put Kirk and Leo together. While I love the way you make McCoy (and the town) understand why Jim went away, and the way he finally "forgive" him (because in fact Jim never apologizes), I would rather have McCoy move on Jim. I recognize it's probably because of my personal history, that is somehow very (very) close to Mccoy's. It's difficult to move on when someone went like that, because you don't have the opportunity to really "break up" and THAT'S what makes this kind of situation so hard(You actually show it very well : the boys didn't go apart because they didn't love eachother anymore). But in the end, it makes you so angry, that the other just goes away in spite of claiming that he loves you, just because the douche wants some aventures. It's also so unfair for the new partner you have - I really feel bad for Jocelyn, even if you write her as a very srtong, loveable and realistic character. There's also the issue of McCoy's self-respect (or lack whereof) that I feel strongly : I mean, in the end, Jim is just forgiven, he gets McCoy back AND he somehow manages to talk him into the life of adventures and fun he wants?
I really wish the things had be patched up with Leo, but that in the end, Joce and him stay together. But that didn't prevent me from loving your fic!
PS : I repost this comment, because I realize there were so many mistakes. Sorry, I'm french and I quite suck at foreign languages :(
no subject
First, I love your story. It was both realistic and heart-breaking. The slow maturation of the characters (Sulu a pilot, Chekov in Russia XD Nyota+Spock in college, Gaila...) is particularly well-done. I really like the description of the feelings - so sweet! - , and the Jim-craving-for-adventures pose.
But, to some extend, I can't help regretting you put Kirk and Leo together. While I love the way you make McCoy (and the town) understand why Jim went away, and the way he finally "forgive" him (because in fact Jim never apologizes), I would rather have McCoy move on Jim.
I recognize it's probably because of my personal history, that is somehow very (very) close to Mccoy's.
It's difficult to move on when someone went like that, because you don't have the opportunity to really "break up" and THAT'S what makes this kind of situation so hard(You actually show it very well : the boys didn't go apart because they didn't love eachother anymore).
But in the end, it makes you so angry, that the other just goes away in spite of claiming that he loves you, just because the douche wants some aventures. It's also so unfair for the new partner you have - I really feel bad for Jocelyn, even if you write her as a very srtong, loveable and realistic character. There's also the issue of McCoy's self-respect (or lack whereof) that I feel strongly : I mean, in the end, Jim is just forgiven, he gets McCoy back AND he somehow manages to talk him into the life of adventures and fun he wants?
I really wish the things had be patched up with Leo, but that in the end, Joce and him stay together. But that didn't prevent me from loving your fic!
PS : I repost this comment, because I realize there were so many mistakes. Sorry, I'm french and I quite suck at foreign languages :(